by Forest Lightbody
It was one of those Sunday mornings. It was only a few days before Valentine’s Day and the snow had already begun to melt, but not my heart.
The sun was bright in the sky and the distant sound of children’s laughter could be heard echoing in from outside my window. God, I hated days like this.
There was only one thing distracting me from beginning the tasks of the day, the reminder of those few extra items that I had forgotten to get at the store during the weekend. I must go to the grocery store to pick them up before anything else. As I put on my steel-toed boots, I ponder that at least it isn’t some guy that I let distract me from my work this time. I have no one to blame but myself. In some fucked up way this comforts me as I pause to select Amanda Palmer on my PSP to listen to before leaving and making my way those few short blocks.
On the way. I think once again about the single lifestyle I lead and the honest feeling of independence. After all, I have true friends and even though my friends don’t know just how many projects I am currently working on. For that reason alone I have to keep focused on my future and if that means no man to love or love me back than it is probably for the best. Even though I rarely look it, I am quite happy and I know that I do not need a partner to be happy.
By aisle three, I have convinced myself otherwise. I must be really jaded at this point in my life. Did those previous boyfriends try to distract me from my life? No, it was definitely self-sabotage like all the other times. I probably just can’t own up to the fact that I am completely delusional and just don’t allow anyone in by being guarded. On top of that, I must be extremely selfish. Whatever. I’m done thinking about it as I line up in the check-out.
I place my groceries on the conveyor belt. I barely notice as the man in front of me takes the plastic divider and places it between our items. This prompts the little old lady behind me to also grab the next divider and place it between our grocery items. “It’s not just me” I say to myself in my head and smile. The man ahead of me collects a box from the front and begins placing his food in. The cashier asks him something, which I assume is about correct change. He is over six-feet tall and has long hair past his shoulders. He quickly and awkwardly searches through the pockets of his tight jeans for change. Pulling his hands from his pockets a single guitar pick falls on the floor, he turns around to pick it up. “Damn those jeans fit nicely,” I think as he is bent over. He does notice that I was checking him out and blushes and smiles from behind the veil of hair that hangs over one eye. I watch him leave and he does look back and smiles again before leaving the store.
Snapping out of it, I look at the cashier who looks slightly amused as I pull out my earphone. “Sorry. What was that?” I asked. She repeats, “Do you want any bags”? I shake my head and pay for the groceries. Carrying my box home, I reevaluate.
Selfishness or not I am still going to go home and finish up what I need to do, alone. I am ok with that and over all a little distraction from time to time isn’t really such a bad thing.ghost dog the way of the samurai free download download man from earth the movie