The Need for Speed: Speed Dating 101

by Shamim Ahad

” Shamim, I have two tickets for speed dating tonight. Don’t argue. It’ll take two hours and then you can go back to the exciting task of preparing your taxes. Get out of your work clothes, get pretty and then get yourself to Six Steps Restaurant by 7:30. Forget those spreadsheets. Don’t forget to floss!”

With that text message, one of my best girlfriends rescued me from a night of paperwork on one of the few open nights I have. Like many singles, I am super busy. Although it’s been a boon for my career, the increase in work commitments over the last year has really cut into my social time. For a while I was doing double duty the way many singles do. I’d go out to the clubs or bars with my regular crew, look around at the jungle of people surrounding me, and hope for the best.

The engineer in me sees the whole thing as a numbers game. Two things weigh heavily on your chances of finding a mate: time and opportunity. Essentially, busy professionals like me need methods to maximize opportunities in the least amount of time possible. I had heard about speed dating before, but now, given the opportunity I was excited to check it out.

7:30

The venue is in a swanky building on a quiet downtown street. Lysanne and I are warmly greeted by the host who takes our coats and then leads to the pre-event mingling area. They offer a nice spread of appetizers and free drinks. The host gets things started by

Photo Credit: www.fastlife.ca

opening up a conversation to a small group of us, easing us into some introductions and making us feel comfortable.

Once everyone arrives, we get the rundown of how the event will go. Basically, all ten women will stay seated at their tables while the men rotate around. We are given cards to track our matches and we begin our first date after the host gives us a rousing speed dating pep talk. The warm lighting and candles are a nice touch. Everyone looks better in candlelight.

7:45

A tall, clean-cut guy sits down in front me and extends his hand. His name is Dave and he’s a foodie. I had a mental list of questions prepared in case I needed it, but I can talk about food all day long. Within minutes the conversation is surprisingly easy. Although over twenty adults are all talking within very close proximity, I have no trouble hearing my date at all. This is a nice change from the clubs I used to frequent where I spent most of your time yelling my name. By the end of this date, I know where to find the best crème brulee and had a funny discussion about bee keeping.

8:09

Date Number 4 is Dev who has moved to Toronto all the way from Atlanta, Georgia. He’s really into squash and curious to know where the best places to play are. Luckily, I know tons of squash aficionados. I realize that as long as you keep up with your general knowledge, it’s easy to talk to anybody. Listen, engage and be curious. I spend most of this date recommending things to do in Toronto and learning more about Savannah during the civil war. So far, my dates have been well-read and intelligent.

8:30 – intermission

The host thoughtfully asks Lysanne and I how we are doing. We  told him we were having a fabulous time. We have gotten to know half the people there, and the conversations during the break continue easily. Lysanne has been generously acting as my “wingwoman” all night. The energy during the event has certainly perked up as people laugh and mill around the second spread of food and drink.

FastLife, one of Canada’s premiere speed dating services (www.fastlife.ca), boasts an impressive 90.1% match rate at their speed dating events. To get a better understanding of what makes for an excellent speed dating event, I spoke to Dan Van Beek, FastLife Event Coordinator, who elaborated further:

“There are many factors. A lot of the success of our events happen before they even begin. Each FastLife member fills out an extensive private profile that can be updated as needed, which allows us to send targeted invitations. Our in-house software helps us to determine which members would be

Photo Credit: www.fastlife.ca

most compatible and so we can bring together groups of people that are most likely to get along.

Additionally, we are fortunate to have some of the greatest event hosts in the industry. The people that come to our events are relaxed and fun-loving to begin with, but the host sets the stage and tone for the event. Each has their own way of running things, but something they all touch on is to remind the attendees to keep an open mind and to have fun.”

8:54

My seventh date of the evening is Richard the adventure racer. I took a quick look around and realized that he is one of several attractive people here. I let him talk because I’m a little distracted by him but trying not to look distracted. Adventure racing does sound like a lot of fun. I hadn’t even heard of it before, so even if talking to him doesn’t get me a date, I definitely have a new hobby. The host hits the gong and before I know it our eight minutes are up. I’m excited by this time, every date is so different!

9:03

I wondered what factors made for the most successful matches during a speed dating event. Although initially physical looks play an important role, Dan Van Beek told me that other factors have a greater influence as the evening wears on, such as a great sense of humour and integrity. “I remember one great guy, Mark. He doesn’t look like your typical alpha male stud, but he’s hilarious. One bombshell blonde, before the event, mentioned she was impressed by all the guys but Mark. But by the end of the night, the guy had gotten more matches than anyone else there.”

9:19

It’s my last date. I had five IT guys, one doctor and three business analysts. This last one is a comedian. We get into a funny conversation about how much of what he observes while dating makes its way into his routine. Turns out he’s a very keen observer of body language and by minute four, we are analyzing the other couples beside us in a bid to see if we can gauge who’s attracted to whom.

Dan Van Beek says that you have to let chemistry do its magic: “There’s something about looking right into someone’s eyes, in person, away from the strobe lights and nightclub crush. It gives you an instant connection and tells a lot about the person you’re meeting. Most people unknowingly pick

Don't miss FastLife's annual White Party, August 21, 2009 – Photo Credit: www.fastlife.ca

up unconscious physical minutiae that supplement the conversation and provide clues to compatibility. Its best to start things off up close and personal; a lot of people spend a month or two emailing and instant messaging before they take the final step of meeting in person. We think that should be the first step. People react and speak more truly when they don’t have an indefinite amount of time to compose a digital response.“

Gong!

I hand my card to the host. He tells me that Lysanne and I are welcome to stay and mingle post event. Several people do stay, and I avoid paperwork for another 30 minutes. When we do eventually leave, the host thanks me warmly for coming, and reminds me that he’ll be emailing me with my matches in the next 24 hours. How wonderfully efficient.

8 minutes. That’s how long it took me to find the right combination of funny, attractive, intelligent and adventurous  that I was looking for in a person. And not only that, it only took me only 32 more minutes to find 4 more matches. All told, this was the most productive 80 minutes of my entire dating career and I highly recommend it to everyone.

FastLife is Canada’s most popular ‘singles lifestyle service’. They provide personalized, stylish speed dating events that are designed to appeal to successful, single professionals. They also host the hottest single mixers in town. Don’t miss their Annual White Party, August 21st, 2009 at Suite 106 (106 Peter Street).

Check them out at: www.fastlife.ca