By Sofia Ramirez
The Science of Love is an alluring topic that has always inspired active human curiosity. For this reason, the study of love (and lust) made its way quickly out of the medieval apothecary and into the most sophisticated research labs. Advancements in the field make it clear that romance requires certain chemistry. Love at first sight is not a made-up cliché.
So what are these elixirs, the physiological components that help to explain some of love’s mysteries? These are pheromones, potent brain chemicals that draw us together and drive us to act (sometimes in ways that even defeat common sense). Research has shown that people vary greatly in terms of their expression of these chemicals and generate their own ‘personal cocktails’ of dopamine and norepinephrine, serotonin, estrogen, oxytocin and the more commonly known testosterone. It is the combination of these chemicals, among others, that explain why opposites attract, and why sometimes, you just cannot shake “Mr. Wrong”, even when you know he is “Mr. Wrong”.
Some research concludes that people use the ‘smells’ produced from these pheromones as possible cues to distinguish genetic similarity in potential partners. This process may have evolved because having a partner with different genetic make-up to yours would help prevent birth defects in your offspring. Each hormone plays a specific role in this manifestation of “love”. Take testosterone for instance, it is the source of that primal impulse: lust, which drives us to go out in search of love. This is the hormone that produces basic sexual desire in men and women.
It is dopamine that gives us the rush of excitement when we see something in a potential partner that we like. This produces reactions in us that make us even more attractive. The amygdala (the brain centre responsible for emotion) tells our hypothalamus to send out attraction signals; our pupils dilate, our heart beats faster, our faces flush and our temperatures rise. This makes us glow and produces oils that create that extra ‘come hither’ shine of our hair and skin. Dopamine also gives us strong feelings of pleasure even when we just recall the things that we like. At this point, that we cannot ‘get our minds off’ our object of affection and we feel it in our to stomachs when we think of them. When our brain pathways are swamped with high levels of dopamine, usually paired with norepinephrine
(another neurotransmitter) and phenylethylamine (PEA
– which is also found in chocolate), this can have an intoxicating effect. This is the crazy love
stage of attraction.
Then there is oxytocin, the ‘cuddling hormone’. Funnily enough, it was once thought to have use only in women, during labor and when bonding with a newborn during breastfeeding. We now know that oxytocin is a powerful hormone in both men and women, and the feelings produced can be even more potent than the other more physical drives. This chemical is responsible for the great feelings of affection that result from spending time with one another, and through sexual intimacy and touching. This is the chemical that strengthens the feeling of connection and can sometimes create great confusion if physical intimacy happens too soon.
Sustained exposure to the chemical soup of pheromones, usually after 11/2-3 years with the same person, results in habituation. That is, a tolerance builds and it takes more “love chemicals” to get the same effect. The same phenomenon occurs in drug addicts. If the couple is unstable, this is usually the point that they move on to get their fix with another person. If the couple is committed, this is when they move on to what researchers identify as the more “rewarding” relationship stage. You won’t get the same ‘rush’ as the beginning phases of love but through continuing physical intimacy, not just sex, endorphins are produced along with the high levels of oxytocin. Endorphins are powerful hormone-like substances produced in the brain that function as the body’s own natural painkillers. They are also capable of producing intense feelings of euphoria. ‘Feelings’ at this stage helps couples stay together. This is long-term “love”.
Breaking down passion’s secrets into its component elements may take away some of the mystery, and some researchers, such as Helen Fisher, have even taken an entrepreneurial slant. She is the chief scientific advisor at chemistry.com, an internet dating site that matches people according to general ‘chemical types’. Although, in spite of all of our scientific knowledge of this process, we are not so far away from the medieval apothecary mixing ‘love potions’. If we had all the answers to the wonders of love, chemistry.com might have a better success rate and that ‘pheromone cologne’ advertised on late night TV might actually increase your sexual magnetism. Thankfully, this really isn’t the case, yet.
Interesting reads about the chemistry of love:
Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love by Helen Fisher (check out: http://www.helenfisher.com)
The Science of Romance: Secrets of the Sexual Brain by Nigel Barber
Conditions of Love: The philosophy of intimacy by John Armstrong
so much for romanticism
sigh…
“Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused.”
Ok, this explains a few things about my past relationships!!