By Jennifer Finjan
I clearly remember the day I first heard the word. Actually, the first time a complete stranger referred to me as one. By the look on his face, I decided it had to be a compliment – although I wasn’t entirely sure.
With the word still heavy on my mind, I called on a male friend, actually an ex-boyfriend/now friend to find out its meaning. Of course, as a mother of two teenagers, I considered myself to be hip and in tune with the latest urban speak, but this one had somehow evaded me. “MILF?!” he asked, sounding confused and quite agitated. “Some guy called you a MILF? What the Hell?! Who is he? What did you do when he said that? Unbelievable! He actually said it to your face? Why did he call you that? What were you doing?” he went on and on. Now a little embarrassed and offended, I cut off his continuous line of questioning, and asked again, “well, what does it mean?” He told me point blank. I didn’t know whether to laugh out loud or hang up. Should I find that guy and ask him out on a date or fling my stiletto heel at his forehead? My friend was definitely of the opinion that it was a complete and utter insult of the lowest kind – to me the verdict was still out. I needed more information.
At home later that night, I secretly pulled out the crumpled note that contained the suspect word, all the time looking over my shoulder in case the kids walked into the room. Being of inquisitive mind, I wanted to verify the meaning. Not that I did not trust my male friend’s thoughts on the matter but maybe he had his own motives. First, I checked the Canadian Oxford Directory and naturally (and thankfully) it was not listed. I then decided to have a look in the Urban Dictionary, an online urban youth reference site. According to its contributors, a MILF is a mother, whether married, separated or divorced, that a male individual sees as physically attractive enough to want to have sexual intercourse with. Well, that’s good, right? I mean, would I rather not be seen as physically attractive? Still needing more information, I moved to an internet search.
There it was…first hit….Pam Anderson, followed by hit after hit of porn-inspired stories and videos. Hmmm…at 38 years old I was in the same category as Pammy? I could do worse, I thought to myself. Okay, I admit she’s a little over the top (sorry), but at least men are still interested, very interested. Even the porn-related stuff – it all seemed pretty mainstream and ordinary. At this point I was just relieved not to play a role in a bizarre fetish fantasy.
A million questions began swirling around in my head. What makes one woman a MILF and another a mom? What drives women to continue up appearances post-marriage, post-children – is it an extra boost of hormones or is there more involved? Is it as simple as hitting the gym every day and keeping up the numerous beautification rituals? Are MILFs born or made? Are MILFs generally happier, more secure and confident than other moms or is the opposite true? Of course, we all know the health benefits of staying in shape, looking after yourself from the inside and out, but what about the mentally and spiritually affects – is it beneficial or ultimately harmful?
How about married MILFs vs. single MILFs? Should married MILFs’ husbands be proud or live in complete fear? I recall on numerous occasions married male friends complaining about their wives weight gain or lack of libido. Do they really want a MILF wife? Could they handle it? Are single MILFs just trying to have an edge over the competition for the few single men left out there? Has the gym become a MILF Olympic playground? Are single MILFs just another victim of negative sexual stereotyping, like the elusive cougar? Are MILFs strictly for fun times and trophy dates until something real and safe comes along?
I realize none of these questions can ever be answered and I am pretty certain there has not been any clinical research or public survey on the subject. Imagine if Census Canada added a label section to their survey. Please check off if any of the following labels presently reside in the principal residence: creepy old guy; DILF (yes, this exists too but not as frequently used – go figure); MILF; soccer mom; scenester, poser, emo kid and the list goes on and on. The Canadian government could find out where more MILFs live and why. It could be used as a marketing tool for provincial tourism initiatives or as a travelling alert, depending on your point of view.
The Urban Dictionary defines label as something you put on jars, not on people. A label is a word given to someone based on who they are, what they like, or their appearance. It appears that the majority of Urban Dictionary contributors think labeling people is a highly negative and damaging practice. As a parent, I know first hand that being labeled strikes fear into the hearts of teenagers everywhere. Whether we like it or not labels are on that list of things in life that are inevitable. Everyone is guilty of labeling others, everyone is labeled. Labels are simply first impressions. Labels are a fact of life.
Keep in mind, labels change with the passage of time. So for now, I will wear my label reluctantly but proud. Before I know it, my MILF years will be nothing but a fond memory. Then what? Will I only have the Red Hat Society or plays about the “change” to turn to? Just as I was beginning to panic, there is was in the Urban Directory….GILF! I guess I better renew my gym membership, this one isn’t going to be easy!free face off download september dawn free saturday night fever download freefree they wait movie download
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Good article.
Great article! ..GILF lol!