SHE SAID: Is Recycling Exes Ever as Green as it Seems?

By Hannah Koh

This is the question that most of us have to face at one point or another in our dating lives. While a quick look may make it seem like there’s a fairly straightforward answer to this question, a closer examination tends to reveal that there’s far more to this question than meets the eye. April, with its Earth Week-themes of recycling, reducing and reusing, seems to be a good a time as any to address the issue of recycling exes and whether it’s ever a good idea.

On a practical level, it seems like a great idea: you know what each other’s likes/needs are in bed (or at least should know); there’s none of the awkward or drunken fumbling/innuendo-laden conversation that inevitably precedes any sort of first physical encounter (“So…want to come up for a *ahem* drink?”); and since you’ve already gone through the whole emotional bit (at least, theoretically) and presumably survived, you don’t have to dread the “where is this going?” conversation that usually follows on the heels of a series of regular booty-calls. In other words, it sounds like a great idea, but you know what they say – If it seems too good to be true, it usually is, and nowhere is this truer than in the case of ex-sex.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve been broken up for 2 weeks or 2 years – no matter how much you think you’re over them, if you were ever in love with your ex, somewhere between the oh-so-familiar romps and the post-sex pizza-and-funny-anecdotes sessions, old feelings will resurface. And before you realize it, you’ll be caught up in the maelstrom of old feelings where you remember how much you actually cared about each other.

That’s not to say that ex-sex doesn’t have its place or uses, as anything does. As a last resort or lazy-man’s temporary fix, ex-sex could be just what the doctor ordered: it’s straightforward, familiar, and you don’t even need to spend the time, energy, or money getting dressed up to go out, get drunk, and drag some stranger (and his unknown plethora of possible STI’s) home for a few hours fun, only to have to awkwardly kick him out of your bed the next morning. As a long-term solution to a sex-drought though, it’s about as good an idea as shipping Toronto’s garbage to Michigan – while it seems like a great idea at first, in the end, the cost is going to be too high to maintain, and, like garbage, will also start to smell.

One of the scenarios in last year’s indie movie Young People F-ing underworld evolution movie download infamous dvdrip download eliminator the movie download

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is one in which two exes go out to dinner to catch up, and end up back at her place. Over glasses of wine, they start to realize that the chemistry that they once had is still there, and a friendly post-dinner drinks catch-up turns into a roll in the sheets, purely for old-times sake, of course. Post-coitus, several things happen that make both of them realize that ex-sex may not have been quite the best idea (warning: spoiler alert!): he rights a picture frame that is face-down on her dresser, only to see that it is a picture of the two of them in happier times, perhaps indicating that she isn’t as “over it” as she seems to be, and she realizes that he may not be over her, as he lingers after getting dressed, angling for an invite to stay over.

The confusion and emotional trauma that both go through because of their one ex-sex encounter is summed up neatly in this duo’s closing scene: after closing the door behind him, the camera pans between the two of them as they both linger on either side of the door, both clearly torn between wanting to open the door (her)/knocking on the door (him), thus taking a step toward round two of the relationship, or knowing that walking away is the best thing to do. In the end, they walk away from the door, and each other. Which sums it up neatly – ex-sex: it’s great as a one-time romp to fill one night, and to maybe determine if you’re actually over each other, but beyond that? You’d be better off putting in the effort to find fun for one night, or, better yet, put in the effort to find something more concrete and new.